Rather than take showers, Clinton rides a 9 Foot grizzly bear though a car wash Statistically speaking, you are more likely to have Clinton reply to one of your posts than you are to have feet. Clinton was the inspiration for Donkey Kong, HD-TV and waterslides. The famous video footage of sasquatch is actually Clinton returning to his woodland home. Helen Keller's favorite color is Clinton. After an epic night of drinking, Clinton took the largest dump ever recorded. What he crapped out ended up being the 1979 10th Anniversary Pontiac Trans Am, in which he occasionally still drives. Clinton accidentally created Optimus Prime while trying to install a 3" body lift on his ranger. In 1979, Clinton became the first black man to win the New York City Marathon. If you put a picture of Clinton's Ranger on a record and play it backwards, you'll hear "Ninja Rap" by Vanilla Ice, followed by a raspy voice that says "Seven days" in which 7 days later, Clinton will explode into your house and raid your refrigerator. Clinton was the original host of "Pimp My Ride." He was fired 1/2 way through the first season for installing Auto-Dim mirrors and Explorer OHC's on every single vehicle. At Wrestlemania 2, Clinton sneezed backstage... Hulk Hogan has been bald ever since. At this very moment, there is a 50/50 chance that Clinton is banging your sister. In response to his challenge, Clinton punched MC Hammer so hard that he went bankrupt. Clinton then bellowed " I can touch this." While thrusting his pelvis in Hammer's direction. There are only 4 horsemen on the Apocalypse because Clinton would rather walk. Debbie Did Dallas because she couldn't handle Clinton. Clinton knows the excact location of Carmen San Diego. Clinton has 189 STD's... including 6 only found in sharks. Clinton is allowed to talk about Fight Club. If Clinton and the Fonz were ever to High-Five... it would bring about another ice age. On the series finale of Fear Factor, Clinton ate Joe Rogan. Clinton once spent a night in West Virginia. The next day, the state promptly changed its name to West Ia. Clinton won a car on "The Price is Right" by guessing that a can of tuna was worth $9,683. Clinton's weakness is that he cannot kick ass without eating breakfast. Ironically, he eats ass for breakfast. Jesus can walk on water.... but clinton can swim through land. Clinton killed 2 stones with 1 bird. Clinton can strangle you with a cordless phone. If you play Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven backwards, you will hear Clinton banging your sister. Late one night while working on installing an explorer full length console in his ranger, Clinton inadvertantly created the Manwich. Clinton sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Clinton can mix rum and coke so strong, it allows you to see through time. Clinton will eat your soul for a Klondike Bar. Clinton was the original Black Power Ranger Clinton masterbates to pictures of himself masturbating. Clinton invented Thomas Edison To Clinton, doorknobs and toilets are seen as merely suggestions. Clinton once went into a kindergarten to talk about fire safety. After 4 minutes, 3 children were on fire and Clinton had shot a bottle rocket out of his urethra. Clinton is the only thing keeping rainforests from destroying us. Clinton can deep throat a wiffle ball bat. Behind every great man, there is a great woman... and plowing that woman is Clinton. If you want to wear the same cologne as Clinton, you'll be disappointed to find that clinton doesn't wear cologne. However, for $200, Clinton will fart on your chest before you go on a date. Two and a Half Men was originally a show just about Clinton. If MacGuyver and Clinton were locked in a room together, Clinton would make a bomb out of MacGuyver to get out Little Known Fact: Clinton's Ranger and The Loch Ness Monster are actually second cousins. Clinton owns a magical mirror that allows him to peer out of any mirror in the world. Anytime you undress in front of the mirror in your bedroom. Clinton could be watching, but he never is... because your flabby body disgusts him. There is no "Control" key on Clinton's keyboard... because Clinton is always in control. Clinton sleeps once every 2 weeks for 1/2 an hour.... standing up... with his eyes open... and he looks pissed off the whole time. Clinton can play the violin... with a piano. Clinton once made a paraplegic run for his life. The last man to make eye contact with Clinton was Stevie Wonder. If you work in an office with Clinton, under any circumstances, don't ask Clinton for his 3-Hole Punch Clinton was present at the wedding in Cana when Jesus turned water into wine. Not to be outdone, Clinton took Jesus's wine and turned it into funk. Clinton was the original model for Brawny paper towels. He gained his position by winning a competition to see who could best intimidate a woman into a life of cleaning and servitude. Clinton can count to 10 left handed. Clinton has no pancreas. He instead has a retro-peritoneal waffle iron that excretes a pancreatic juice made of liquid vengeance. Clinton once gave the Smurfs a beatdown so bad they were forced to relocate underwater and become the Snorks. Clinton saved President Bush from choking on a pretzel by punching him in the throat... Clinton had no idea he was choking. If at the exact same moment, the same person was "Mooseknuckled" by Clinton and Roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode. Clinton's edition of the VH1 Show "Where Are They Now?" was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long and consisted of a black screen with the words: "Right behind you" written on it. Clinton has won every contest that he's entered... even Miss Nude Pennsylvania. Clinton eats 3 square meals a day... his Ranger eats 7. Whenever Clinton sees a Best Buy, he burns it to the ground, because he believes that a Explorer OHC for $30 is the best buy you'll ever find. Clinton can mathematically make 2 wrongs equal a right. Whenever Clinton successfully installs a Auto-Dim Mirror in any Ranger, he mentally sings "This Is How We Do It" by Montel Jordan. The theme song for "Law and Order" is the exact sound of Clinton's heartbeat. Clinton was so annoyed with the Sylvester Stallone movie "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" he punched him so hard that Sly spoke clearly for a week. Clinton is an *******! By saying that my life expectancy is now 3 sec... Clinton is so cool, that the Pope has a fish decal on his car with the word "Clinton" inside. Every 4 years, Clinton beats another 24 hours into February. The television show "Lost" is loosely based on an inner-ear infection Clinton had as a child. Tupac wouldn't be dead if he hadn't eaten Clinton's cheetos. Clinton and Craig (azgilamonster) teamed up in 1989 to bring down the Soviet Union. Their amazing story of struggle, hope, and redemption was adapted for the silver screen as "White Men Can't Jump" Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know when Clinton is going to mooseknuckle you. Clinton successfully mated a graham cracker with a mustang dome light. The phrase "Made by Clinton" is printed beneath China. Clinton coined the phrase " I see dead people " after the waitstaff at Denny's forgot his birthday. Clinton once beat Usain Bolt in the 100-Meter Dash. Clinton didn't even know he was racing, someone near the finish line had just leaned against Clinton's Ranger. If you spell Clinton wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean: Clinton?" It simply replies "Run while you still have the chance!" Vanessa Carlton's hit song " A Thousand Miles " was inspired by the distance Clinton kicked her boyfriend after he stepped on Clinton's snakeskin boots. Clinton never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth. Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's": Already Been Clintoned. Clinton doesn't actually own a computer, he just has a basement full of Asian kids who memorize numbers. Clinton invented the Spanish language because he liked the word "pantalones" so much, he needed a language to use it in context. The French did not send the Statue of Liberty to the U.S. as a sign of peace. They were trying to win a bet that Clinton couldn't **** a 150 foot tall copper woman... boy, were they wrong. When an airport employee told Clinton that his flight was delayed, he told her that her pregnancy was delayed and promptly did jumping jacks on her uterus. There used to be a street named after Clinton, but it was changed because nobody crosses Clinton and lives. If Clinton ever gets caught speeding, He'd let the cops off with a warning. Clinton has been to Mars... that's why there's no life found. Clinton doesn't need Twitter... he's already following you. The movie Aliens Vs. Predators was originally titled Aliens Vs. Predators Vs. Clinton... but that movie only lasted 11 seconds... 5 of those seconds were the credits. Clinton was once asked if he believes the world is going to end on December 21st 2012, to which he replied: "Depends on how I'm feeling that day."